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About Galway

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Then, I bumped into me mate, Sean. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s tellin’ me about this time he got lost in the Dublin Mountains. “I swear, I thought I was gonna die!” he says, laughin’. I’m like, “Sean, you’re a legend, but you really need a map.” We had a good laugh, but it reminded me how easy it is to get lost in life, ya know?

Death Notice of Jannah Shahzad (Tallaght, Dublin)